Can I just say wow! Oli is already 12 months old! It’s crazy how fast time can be but also slow at the same time. It’s a strange feeling. I feel like this whole year has been crazy busy. I don’t think we’ve had a month of nothing or even a week. There’s always something going on. I want to start with the good things then the not so fun stuff.

Robin is 3 years old! Oh my goodness where has my baby gone 😭. He talks so much now and will mimic everything you do and say. We have to be extra careful. It always surprises me what he picks up on. He can count to 20, say most of the ABCs, loves to sing and dance and riding his balance bike. His favorite song to sing is “happy birthday” and “rain rain go away”. He loves to listen to music. We listen to all types like classical, 80’s, wicked the musical, disney music and pop. He loves it all. He really loves Blippi, spiderman, any type of transportation vehicle, chocolate and ice cream. He loves his cousin. He plays really well with them (most of the time). They’ve gone on some trips together. His grandparents took them on a cruise to Mexico! They had so much fun. Robin was a little sick during it but still had some fun. We’ve taken him to Chicago again except when it was warmer.

Now Oli is something else. It’s so interesting how different they are. He loves to babble and stares at you whenever you are talking like he is part of the conversation . He can say mama, dada, “mmma” for more, and “boi”. He can clap, wave, and give high fives. Right he is so close to walking (I know I say that every month but just hoping one day soon) He will grab your hand and will make you walk with him. He’s getting really good at climbing though. We went to the park and he was climbing up the slide and stairs. I am amazed at how much he can do. He loves food! All types of food so far not too picky. But his favorites are beans. All the beans, pinto, black, kidney, refried. You name it, he’ll eat all of it. His other favorites are peanut puffs and whatever you are eating. He will stare you down and give you this look like “umm are you going to give me some of what you are having?”

Now for the not so far stuff. Back in march, I was in a car accident with the boys. Let me tell, that was a scary experience. Although we were okay, the car ended up being totaled. On the bright side, we got a new car! This past year was tough. About a year and a half ago my mother in law was diagnosed with cancer. Then this past summer was even harder because that’s when we found out treatments were not working and she had to go on hospice care. Then yesterday 9/6 she passed away. It has definitely been a really hard these past few weeks. I go through phases of grief. Sometimes I’m okay but there are times where I’m just really sad just thinking of memories or what could have been. I’m super grateful for the time we did have with her. And especially grateful she got to meet the boys. Even though they might not remember her, I will have those memories of the times she spent with them and we will do our best to keep her memory alive with them and continue to tell her legacy with them.

Earlier this year, I realized we did not have any pictures with Alex’s side of the family so for mother’s day we took some pictures and they are beautiful. Diana Corwin did such a great job and I’m going to share some of my favorites here.

Lastly, Alex and I doing okay for now. Just trying to survive with little boys and making sure we are the best parents for them. Lots are changing right now for us and I’m sure I’ll go more into detail about it later. For now I just wanted to dedicate this post to my mother in law, Rochelle. She was the best mother in law I could ask for. She was such a kind soul and really loved her children and grandchildren. Gosh did she love her grandsons. They sure love her too. I want to end with a few cute stories about her and my boys. One of Robin’s first names he knew and recognized was Nana. He would give Nana the best hugs and tell her he loves her. Whenever we would go visit “Nana’s” house, he would be so excited to go and did not want to leave. Probably because Nana had the best toys. During one of our family trips to Galveston, we went to moody gardens and during the whole time we were there. Oli wanted to be held so Alex’s mom carried him the whole time and they were the best walking buddies. It was so cute and adorable when he got to spend all that time with her and being such a good baby. We love you Nana and we will miss you dearly. Robin still asks for you and oh does that break my heart. Don’t worry we will make sure you are not forgotten and you will forever be in our hearts.

Until we meet again, Stephanie

It’s been 6 months since Oli joined our little family. He’s 6 months old! Wow! Time both feels fast and slow at the same time. Not sure that was possible but somedays feel longer than others. The days are longer when there are sick kids in the house. Everyone is cranky, sad or just plain not feeling good so those days are all about survival. Time is fast when Oli is wearing some of Robin’s clothes when Robin was Oli age 🥲.

I first want to talk about some not so fun things to talk about. The reason I do this is because I don’t want people to think I live a fake perfect life. I want to show people they are not alone when it comes to certain trials in their life. If someone needs me, I’ll be there the best I can. Seriously though, if you need someone to talk to or someone to listen or anything really I’m here! Don’t be afraid to ask.

First is it just me or are adult relationships hard to maintain? Maybe it’s just me but sometimes it’s hard. I understand we have busy lives but it would be nice to have someone or multiple people to just go “hey you want to hang out (insert place here) tonight (or sometime in short notice)”. Like I see these TV shows or even people on Facebook who have super close friendships since like elementary, middle or high school or even college. I do appreciate having some kind of friendship with some people but I feel like I can’t just randomly text someone to hang out without feeling like I might be bothering them. Or maybe friends think I can’t hang because I have little babies. Thank you for being considerate but I can try and make arrangements. Thank goodness I live close to family. It makes it a little easier dropping off the boys if I need to or want to go somewhere. (Of course if they are able to). Second parenthood is hard. Some days are so draining that all I want to do is just survive the next day. Every parent I talk to always says, “enjoy it when they are little because you are going to miss it.” To that I kind of agree, kind of don’t. So I know every stage of life as a parent, whether it be when they are babies or teenagers, it’s going to be hard. Each stage has their own challenges. They also have their perks. Like there are times I wish Robin was a baby but other times I don’t. And there are times I wish Oli was a little older and sometimes I just wish he stayed a baby. I think that’s part of parenthood. It comes with challenges no matter what stage in life you are in. I understand why we had an early bedtime when I was a child. It’s so we can give our parents a break! But I do love it at the same time. (See reasons below). My third and last topic, parenting books. (This is going to more like venting). I really do not like most parenting books. I understand it’s there to help parents but gosh dang most claim that their book works for every single baby. News flash, it doesn’t. Although it might, MIGHT work for most babies it does 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 work 👏🏼 for 👏🏼 ALL. They sure do like making you feel bad if their method doesn’t work for your baby. I know when it doesn’t work for me, I feel like the worst parent in the world. My thoughts go spiraling wondering what in the world I’m doing wrong. It’s taken me a long time to figure this out but not all size fits all when it comes to parenting. You are the parent, you know what’s best for your child. Not someone you barely know, not someone who claims they know all the parenting hacks. YOU! The parent. Anyways in the end, yes read the parenting book, learn what works for your family, and grow as a parent. Most of time (at least for me) it’s trial and error. But you decide what works and what doesn’t. You have that power to choose what is best for that sweet child. Parenting is all about learning and growing. That’s life. So you do you.

Speaking of parents, I do want to say how grateful I am to have parents that love their grandkids and spoil them so much. I really appreciate them taking the time for grandkids trips and loving them so much. The same goes to Alex parents. They freakin love the boys and they spoil them too. I love that they have such loving grandparents. I couldn’t as for better grandparents for my children.

Now time for some good things in life. Let’s start with Robin. He’s 2 1/2 years old and is growing too fast 🥲. So proud of this kid! His vocab has come a long way! He copies a lot of words we say and knows so many words I lost count! He loves to ride his balance bike and tricycle. His favorite animal is a monkey. Gets so excited when he sees one. Although he does love animals in general. He loves like really loves chocolate. All kinds of chocolate, white, milk, dark and even chocolate covered raisins or nuts. He also really loves all moving vehicles like cars, trucks, tractors, airplanes, excavators, and buses. I love seeing his character and personality grow. It’s so fun getting to know my little (maybe not so little) boy. His favorite shows are blippi, cars 1 and 3, cocomelon and some Disney movies (like moana and encanto). He does not like cars 2 (will not sit through it). It’s like he knows it’s the worst one. He is still very much a mama’s boy. Although Robin gets jealous of Oli being with me sometimes, he loves him too. He’s a great helper when it comes to helping with taking care of Oli. I love him seeing him take the role of big brother.

Oli’s turn! He’s 6 months old, 27 inches and 19 lbs! He’s in 12 month clothes already because his thighs are so chunky! I love his chunkiness! Such a big boy! He loves to sit up by himself and does it really well. No teeth yet that doesn’t stop him from eating real food. His favorite food right now are peanut puffs. He sure has some strong gums. He also loves his reflection. Every time he sees himself in the mirror, he has the biggest smile. Reminds me of Robin. Robin still likes looking at himself in the mirror. (I wish I had their confidence). Oli can stand on his legs with support pretty good too. Both Robin and daddy play rough with Oli but he seems to like them playing with him. He likes being talked to as well and he babbles a lot. He loves Robin! He is always watching him and seeing what he does. When Robin laughs, he laughs. He adores his big brother.

Not much new going on with Alex and I. We try and do a date night every week just so we can have some time for ourselves. Alex and I are deep thinkers. There are some interesting podcast that we both enjoy listening to. We also like trying out some good food. Any recommendations are welcome or if you would like to join us on a food adventure, let us know! We try to go out and try something new but we then end up back to what we know. Besides that, parenthood does take a lot of time. We try to do trips as a family. We also try to do a trip with just the two of us every year as well. Not sure where we are going this year. Robin’s already been on a cruise with his grandparents and cousins. Oli had his first plane ride to see his uncles in Chicago and saw snow for the first time! We also took a trip with Alex’s family to a really fun airbnb that had a tree house! Although Robin was a little sick, we still had fun making memories.

Until next time,

Stephanie

We are a family of 4 now. Olivander Pantaleòn Nation was born on August 26,2021 weighing 7lbs 14oz. Not as big as Robin but pretty close. Right now he is wearing 6 month clothing and is only 2 months old 😅. Not sure how much he weighs but at his 2 month appointment he was 13 lbs. Robin was 15 lbs at 2 months. Both were in the >80th percentile in weight. Maybe I just make some chunky kids. Robin sure loves being a big brother. I thought he was going to be super jealous but he loves to give Oli hugs and kisses. Sometimes he loves him so much that he will climb on top of him and ”give him the biggest hug” aka squish him. Oli does not like those kind of hugs. Oli loves to smile and being talked to. He’ll give the biggest smile whenever he sees Robin. So cute seeing the brotherly love. We love sure love our two boys.

I have to be honest, gosh parenting is hard. I never thought it would be easy but gosh dang it’s hard AF. Don’t get me wrong I love my two boys and love seeing them grow up. We have some really great days but those hard days can be really stressful and seem never ending. For an example, currently Robin is growing his last set of molars so he’s been extra whiny, cranky and clingy. Because of that, he is super picky and with halloween added to the mix all he wants to eat is candy. And boy he is testing our limits. They don’t call it the terrible twos for nothing. It’s stressful but I also feel bad that he his hurting. (the joys of parenthood.) My sister shared a picture with me that pretty much sums up motherhood that I will share right here.

Although motherhood is hard, I still love it. I love watching my boys grow up. I love watching them figure out life. I love it when they reach milestones. It really is the best. But I know we have have certain trials and that when we ask for help, it will truly lift us up.

Now that everyone loves to share their political views, I will briefly share mine. I don’t think I truly am one side or another. What I am tired of is the polarization between the two parties. I feel like lately here is no respect between the two different opinions. I understand not everyone is going to have the same opinions on what they believe is the best. But come on, we can at least respect each other. I’m so tired of seeing the negativity in my Facebook from both sides. Like what is up with this “Let’s go Brandon” thing going on. Seriously? Or the disrespect when Trump was president. I personally don’t like Trump but it does not mean he wasn’t our president and that we should play nice. Was he the greatest choice? Ha no. But I still would disagree with him in a respectful way. The reason I bring this is all up comes down to thinking about my children. Right now we are trying to teach Robin to be nice and share with others. Especially with his brother and cousins. So it’s made me think shouldn’t we be nice to each other? Shouldn’t we model what we want from the future generation? I don’t know about you but I want my kids to live the best life possible with the best opportunities and treat each other with respect no matter who they are and what their views are. Shouldn’t we love one another and try to understand each other?

Anyways, a little update between Alex and I. It will be our 7th year anniversary soon. Time sure does fly by. Not much has changed except having a newborn. I think our world is changing everyday and so are our views on certain things. We thought we were going to raise our kids a certain way but things have change and we’ve come to learn things are not as black and white as they seem. Our worldly views and religious views have changed. I rather not get into specifics right now but I don’t mind having a discussion later or make another blog about it another time.

Until next time, Stephanie

I am struggling a little to write this. Maybe because it’s been less than 4 years since the last blog post. Haha but in all seriousness, I really am having a hard time writing this. I will explain later after I give our big news.

Robin is going to have a little brother! Coming in September! We are very excited! Robin has no idea just that mommy’s tummy is getting bigger and he keeps poking it 😅.

Now don’t get me wrong. This is something we are both excited and nervous about. I’m am so happy we are going to have another little one. The reason I am struggling to write this is two big reasons. 1) I waited this long to announce anything on social media because of previous miscarriages which makes me really hesitant to share a pregnancy too early 2) I still feel the pain of our infertility journey.

You may be asking “wait, why do you still feel that when you obviously can get pregnant?” And to answer that question, just because I was able to get pregnant doesn’t mean I have forgotten that longing to want a child from before. I try so very hard to be mindful of those who are struggling to even have one child or another child because I know how that feels. I know how it feels when even though you are so very excited for that person (whomever that may be) to be having a baby, you still feel so sad for yourself because you long to have that child one day (at least that’s how it was for me). I think with trials or our struggles in life, those emotions don’t truly go away. Maybe it’s not as strong as it was before, but it’s there. And for me, I don’t want it to go away. I want to remember those angel babies no matter how little of time we had with them. I don’t want to forget the pain I felt through infertility so I can connect with those who are struggling with it. I try my best every day to be more empathetic towards others. To feel alone in anything, is such a terrible feeling. So I hope whoever is reading, please know you are not alone no matter what trial you are going through. You are loved even though I don’t know you very well, I care and love you.

In other news, Robin is getting so big! He can sign “please”, “more” and “help”. Can follow directions pretty well and is running every where. Loves playing chase with daddy and gives mommy all the hugs and kisses. He doesn’t talk much yet but he’ll get there. I have to constantly remind myself that he will talk in his own time. And that right there was really hard for me to do. There are definitely days where I feel like a failure as a mother. Seeing other children around Robin’s age doing things that Robin hasn’t done quite yet. That is such a struggling for me trying to not compare myself to other parents (wondering what I’m doing wrong). But we as parents have to remember, we are doing our best and your child is doing some great things on their own. Each child is different in their own unique and awesome way. Robin is the best and it makes me tear up every time I think about how much I love him and our little family (I may be tearing up right now 🥲).

As far as Alex and me, not much going on with us personally. Just trying to survive as parents soon to be parents of two. Maybe our thoughts/views and spirituality have changed but we can talk about that another time. We can spends hours talking about deep issues/thoughts. So I will leave those topics for another post or in person discussion if need be.

Thanks for reading this far! Until next time

Steph

It’s been 4 years since I started and wrote in here. I was planning on writing a post about once a month. I guess I will do once every 4 years 😅 Well here is an update on our family

A lot of updates so bear with me as I try to remember everything. Since I last posted, we were trying to start a family and it took us two years to finally get our son Robin. After several treatments of Femara (pill to help with infertility), two miscarriages (3 angel babies), lots of prayer, crying, self doubt and lots and lots of patience, we finally got our miracle baby boy, Robin. He actually came surprisingly, we weren’t expecting it because we took a break that month after trying for so long and the miscarriages. It was a lot so we felt we need a break. The break is what we needed to help bring Robin into our family. It really was a blessing because at that time I just knew we needed a break. Our next step for treatment was IVF or IUI but I just had this feeling that we needed to rest for a month. Now I know that feeling was from Heavenly Father and guiding me to Robin. I’m sure glad we waited. In the beginning of that pregnancy was rough, we thought we were going to lose him because I was having some bleeding so we went to the ER. Note I was about 5 weeks along so when they did an ultrasound we couldn’t see a baby just an empty sac. We were both preparing for the worse when we went to the first OB appointment. But lo and behold there was out little bean and a strong heartbeat. I was crying with joy and relief. Alex was smiling while hearing his little heartbeat for the first time. The appointments after that were good after that. I still felt scared and nervous before each appointment. Anyways I don’t remember much from my pregnancy. It wasn’t complicated like some women. Robin was born at 39 weeks exactly on 08/27/2019.

There was some great and bad moments during Robin’s first year. But I choose to remember the good times. Some major milestones; he started crawling at 9 months, walking at 10 months, first family trip was to Chicago at 3 months, first tooth at 5 months and a list of other things I can’t remember right now. We sure do love our Robin. He is a handful sometimes but what baby isn’t. He’s such a character. He is definitely silly like his daddy and papa. Definitely a mamas boy. He loves to share and very quick to learn. If he sees you do something, he will pick it up and try to do it himself. He loves to play outside and right now is very interested in lights, elmo, pentatonix, and wiggles. I have thousands of pictures of Robin but here are a few highlights.

Now enough about Robin. You’re probably wondering how Alex and I are doing too. We’re doing great. We’ve had our ups and downs. But mainly ups. Everyone keeps saying the hardest part in a marriage is that first year together. I think since we knew each other since 8th grade it wasn’t too hard. The hardest part is definitely when Robin was born and trying to find time for each other and focus on our marriage. Those first few months were rough because I felt like it was all about Robin. Now that Robin sleeps through the night and is a little more independent, our marriage has improved a lot (I think the being able to sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time helps). We’ve done a few trips. Went to Disneyworld, universal Orlando, Disneyland, and Chicago twice. We both graduated from BYU. I graduated in medical laboratory science and Alex in chemical engineering. We live in Texas now and are closer to family. Holidays are fun. Two big things we accomplished was getting a house and paying off our student loans! 🥳

I also feel we are both growing as better people or trying to find ways to become better. Through our trials and struggles, we both grew in a way I did not expect. We both feel more sensitive to others who go through our same trials. And even those that don’t go through the same things, we have learn that because we all have trials and pain and suffering, we can help each other overcome that. We might be more sensitive to those that have the same trials but we can also help those going through some bad times. Because we know pain, because we all hurt at one time, because life is full of challenges, we can rely on others to help us overcome suffering. I’ve tried overcoming a trial by myself and I lasted a day (probably less). It was too much for me and quickly learned I needed help.

We are taking it one day at a time. We are enjoying life one day at a time. We are living life to the fullest and happiest we can make it.

Until next time (probably 4 years),

Stephanie Nation

Today is special day to me. It’s been 5 years since I have been a member of the LDS church and boy has it been a long time. Exactly on this day, I was confirmed into the church as well as yesterday being my baptism day. It’s crazy how these are the exact same days as 5 years ago. In sacrament meeting, I was thinking about these past 5 years and how I’ve grown. I’ve come to realize that I still have a lot more growing to do. So I hope through this blog I can share my experiences with my life with you guys and be less shy. I want to start with my conversion story. This story is very personal to me so please no hard feelings to me or to anyone I mention because like I said before I am a very shy person and just sharing this with you is hard.

I was originally Catholic and grew up with an all Catholic family. Then I met this boy. (Yes it all started with a boy). In middle school, I did not know anything about mormonism or the LDS church until I met a boy named Alex. He was very willing to share his faith with me and I was with him. I did not think about it that much then because I was to focused on just being a Catholic all of my life and I was preparing for my confirmation which was going to happen in a few years. As I was preparing for my confirmation, I knew then without a doubt that I wanted to be a Catholic. I was told I would feel the spirit as soon as I was confirmed. I remember feeling so ready and excited. Once that day came and the priest confirmed me with oil, I didn’t feel anything. I was surprised and hurt a little but I just thought well maybe it will come later or that something was wrong with me. I decided that it was just that it was going to come later. I did go to church with Alex once and out of the 3 hours I was there, the only thing I remember was what I felt there. I felt something different, not a bad different, just different. (I couldn’t describe it then but as I think about it now it was a feeling of peace) After that, I just went through high school not thinking much of it and following my family and believing that what they were doing was what I was suppose to do.

Now fast forward to my freshman year of college. I went to Colorado State University and studied Environmental Engineering and hoped to become a veterinarian. I didn’t have any friends or family in Colorado and it was very hard for me to make friends because of my shy nature. I was still friends with Alex, the mormon boy, although he was attending Brigham Young University. There have been times where I felt very alone. I tried going to a Catholic church near the school but it just didn’t seem the same. So I tried going to different churches and nothing seem to work out. I then decided I just needed to go home and be with family and in the middle of my first semester away from home, I started applying to transfer to Texas schools. I was in a group on Facebook with other freshman going to CSU. There was one post asking people what churches are around the area that people were attending and asking for recommendations. Then one person commented that she attended a LDS church and that anyone was welcome to come with her. When I saw that, I thought I remembering going and wanted to go again because of a good experience before. So I facebook messaged her asking if I can go with her. Weeks passed and I never heard back from her and I thought well maybe I am not meant to go. It was then that I tried going to a nondenominational church that a few girls in my hall were going to. Tried that, didn’t work as well. One day Alex invited me to watch General Conference. (for those who don’t know what that is it is like a huge meeting where all of the LDS members are invited to watch church leaders speak to them about several different church topics.) I watched it and I don’t remember who spoke but I remember loving what I did watch. That night or maybe it was some night during the week. I don’t remember exactly which night. it was 5 years ago! I can’t remember everything. Anyways that night, I prayed asking what I needed to do spiritually/religiously and where I needed to go to church. Soon after that I received a message from facebook from the girl, Kalisha, I messaged a few weeks back saying that I can go to church with her. I got so excited whenever I heard back from her and that following Sunday I went to church with her. It was fast and testimony meeting that week and when I went I thought “well I’ve never seen this before where people from the congregation go up and bear their testimonies. That’s so cool!” I felt the spirit so strong then. Then the sister missionaries, Sister Davis and Hernandez, went up to me and asked if I wanted to take some lessons with them and I said yes. I took a few lessons with them and the only one I truly remember was when I cried. I didn’t cry because I was sad but more worried. I felt so much peace and happiness learning the things from the missionaries and I was so worried about my family. I wasn’t sure how they were going to react and that worried me so much that I just teared up when I gave the closing prayer. After a few weeks of taking the lessons, the sisters asked me if I wanted to be baptized. I hesitated at first because of my family so I took some time before I decided if that was something I wanted to do. I then decided that what I believed and thought was true even though my family wouldn’t think so I picked a date in December to be baptized and confirmed (December 3rd and 4th to be exact). I did not tell my family about this until after because at that time I thought it was the right thing. I believed it was the right thing because I didn’t want any doubts of what I knew in my heart was right.(Now I wish I told them before because I should share all good things with family).

From my baptism until now, I feel like I grew a lot in my faith but I still have a lot of things to learn. I went back home to Texas for a year of school, transferred to BYU, got married and now I’m working. I can not imagine my life without the church and without a doubt know I am were I am suppose to be. I love my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I know our Heavenly Father loves everyone (that includes you). 🙂 I also love my family and would do a lot for them to help them be happy. And if you are reading this and I do not know you, I hope you know I care about you even though I don’t know you. I hope this helps someone in one way or another.

Until next time,

Stephanie

*The picture above is from my wedding day 2 years ago. With me are my wonderful missionaries who came! Left is Sister Hernandez (now Des Gonzalez) and to the right is Sister Davis (now Sarah Maxwell). They mean the world to me and I appreciate all the things they have done for me. Love you yall!